intense Kundalini experience, can't focus, forgetting things, losing track time/space...

Questioner:

Namaste.

...back from the retreat early...scary kundalini thing. Still rattled by it, not sure how to proceed. A bit freaked out by the intensity...can't concentrate, focus, forgetting things, losing track time/space. Way out of sorts...Do u have any advice for grounding, getting out of this?

G. The best way to get grounded is to do the two posture flows in my book with concentration on breathing and particularly on the exhales. Concentrate on making the exhales as long as the individual movement on forward bending. Concentrate on making the inhales as long as the individual movement on back bends.

Those two posture flows...activate virtually all of the major chakras and if the breathing is long and smooth, it should rebalance the energies...engaging all of the main chakras and balancing them is more likely to help. Do the flows as long as you can...If necessary...shift from the flows to just long breaths, particularly the exhales as you do pranayama...

who is it that is having this lack of concentration? who is losing focus? who is deciding what is OK, or not, with concentration, remembering things and focus?


Q. Touching my crown...process started unfolding again...not really satori like...more psychedelic in nature...mindless internet searches have infected my brain with all these cautionary tales of madness and even death.

Thank you Gary for the suggestions. Have used the breath...seemed to help...The past two days...saw how the "me" was still terrified to give itself up...getting very panicky. The biggest issue is control and not being able to control. Been able to see that with your guidance. Going back to abidance...helping with mind chatter...light intention near the hara.

Thank you for grounding me and bringing me back to inquiry...

With heart splitting gratitude



G. yes, the "me" can see it is being exposed as an illusion. it has been scared all along as it...couldn't deliver, or reproduce, what was wanted or promised, but...was really trying hard, and would do better next time, even as it continued to chastise itself, and fail.

it really isn't the "me"'s "fault" - it can only handle 7 +/- 2 discrete items at a time and it has only a small DRAM processor...no way to know all of the factors that caused the current situation, or how to control all of the factors that will cause the next one...that's why it's panicky.


Q. It's pulling me Gary...I inquire who is scared...it pulls me more and the kundalini phenomena ramps up...so wild...I'm fighting to stay in duality...start losing memory...slurring my words, forgetting how to even do menial tasks...

Staying in duality... mind is getting pulled into dissolution...sitting there...deep samadhi, the scary part is that i have no control...on auto-pilot. The samadhi seems to be upward however, like i'm floating about my head...distracting myself to keep it from happening, keeping active 24/7. the more i let go into it, the more disoriented and disconnected i become...energies are so strong and intimidating.

...seeing how FEAR is the name of the game here...the more fear, the phenomena occurs---at least the mental phenomena...my intuition...this is the mind's final foothold...producing energetic...physical...and mental phenomena as a form of self protection...meeting this all with consciousness/inquire/love...

wow, so much and yet nothing at all.

love ya gary, thanks for all your support.

G. re your fear at feeling you have "no control" and are on "auto pilot", that...really has always been that way...surrender into letting go of the illusion that "I" have to make everything happen...from the standpoint of an ego. you don't, it happens all by itself.

re your inability to remember what happened just a few minutes ago...your "I" which is what is used to tag, hold together and store memories, is becoming less concrete...be totally in the moment, fully present to what is happening at each instant. you will find you do things more "competently" as you are "there" for each moment and not living in memories of the past, even the recent past. It is over...now is now, and now...

The more you fight it, the more anguish you will feel...you will just be acting as you always have. you don't control the simplest motion of your body...That hasn't changed...It is as you say, all about fear. Just let go...moment by moment, right now and then right now, and then right now. Don't make it in to a terrifying event, it is a natural transition following all of your work.