Dialogues w/John - 10 wks to "absolute, stunning, perfection..."

John Gallagher (real name) contacted me on FB re "friending", which we did.  John works in retail tech support, has 3 young kids, and was brought up as a charismatic Christian. Six yrs ago he went into contemplative Christianity, doing contemplative prayer for 3 yrs.  He has been working in nonduality for about a year, practicing deep surrender and acceptance.  

Here are the ten weeks of dialogues we had, up to two days ago, by FB messaging.  we did one skype, which was not recorded.  This is what is possible in a short time.  

John

John Gallagher

Hey Gary!

Just wanted to say thanks for the friendship!

It's a pleasure to connect.

Gary

Hi John.

It is great to connect w/you.

If you're interested, i have a lot of "stuff" which is available.

Just go to youTube and put my name and "meditation" in the search box, and go to any of the videos and look under "About" for links.

It's all free unless you want Amazon to print you a book; any profits from that go to kids in south India.

Great to connect.

Stillness

John

Buddha @ the Gas Pump
BATGAP

Thanks yeah.... just started watching your BATGAP interview... you come across very well!

Your material has helped me hugely already.

I feel myself more and more resting as my Self.

The concept of self-referential thoughts has been a really helpful one.

I wondered - do you have time / do you offer Skype chats?

Gary

Great that you have found the material so useful.

i do skype w/folk world-wide.

It usually is more useful if they have spent some time going through some of the material and working w/it so the questions can be more specific.

John

I'm not sure I need it anymore.

I seem to have vanished permanently!

I suppose a few pointers from here on in might be helpful...

Gary

Well, if you reappear, and want to chat about anything, let me know.

John

Thanks so much. I'll be in touch if I do.

When I say vanished, I more just mean the small self seems to have gravitated tractor-beam style into the larger Self.

Feels... truly wonderful.

Rick Archer
BATGAP

Still watching your chat with Rick Archer.  So many good thoughts in there.

"Her learning about Herself" ... love that!

I really do see the whole adventure as a learning adventure of Self-discovery

Also love the 10,000 hours Gladwell reference (Blogpost “Are 10,000 hrs needed for awakening?...”) agree with that absolutely.  The idea of 'nothing to do' doesn't resonate here at all.

Also... continuous enlargement/deepening...Yes! Enlightenment is capable of endless enlargement.  

And the idea of no desires / living life as a constant flow of serendipity / synchronicity.

I'm (ironically enough) deeply desirous of that.

Pretty much the Only thing I want!

The way you describe your experience towards the end of the BATGAP interview is exactly what I'm after.

I don't feel that I'm far away at all.

Perhaps even only one small shift.

Gary

Much great stuff here, John.


John

I think I've clicked over into clarity as it were.

I'm kind of doing a sweep around to try and locate any further resistances.

I reckon a Skype would be nice at some point... maybe once you're back next week?

Gary

Yes, that would work.

John

Sweet. Catchya.

Heart Sutra in Sanskrit

John

I just noticed...

Emptiness is form, form is emptiness

Man that feels good

Gary

The Heart Sutra is gratified by your understanding...

John

Ah. Rest . This is where it's at, man...

It's like...you can't find the gap between I and Thou.

Gary

One of our local sandwich chains has a sign: "The gap between more and enough never closes".   The gap between "I" and "Thou" for most folk is like that, never closing.

However as you have discovered, it can disappear.

As your Underground (London) tells you many times during a day, "Mind the gap".

John

Heh. Indeed

John

Oh Gary... It's gone all quiet

Gary

Just remember, that is your natural state.

Nothing is missing except the confusion, anxiety, stress, worry, etc.

That state has always been there - it was just covered up by the constant chatter, which is not there now.  Just relax into it.

Be aware of the "I" coming in and trying to "manage" it, or claim credit for it.

It only is clearly visible because the "I" is not there; the "I" did not create it.

John

Yup. Thanks, I'll keep a look out for the return of the 'I'

John

It's all joy. All of this.

It's funny how the 'I' comes back.

Comes and goes.

Is this pretty normal for a while?

Gary

Yes, "John" has been in charge for quite a while and has many tentacles in many places, so he's not going to willing to go along "quietly".

If you do the "When am I?" meditation, you will soon see that there are many, many “Johns”.

Virginia Woolf

As Virginia Woolf famously said, "you have as many identities as you have relationships."

As you begin to recognize that there is no "single" John, you will see that there are a bunch running around.

You will also see that these many "Johns" are weaker and confused as they have no single home. 

John

Ah yes.   I'll give 'When am I?' a go.

Things do seem to be quite calm at the moment, which is really nice.

*quite

John

"When am I?" is really handy!

I'd never tried that before.

Gary

Yeah, it is really surprisingly powerful...often overlooked or not even considered...

John

Things are progressing really nicely.

I'm experimenting with here, there, now, and then.

All these things seem to be gently dissolving.

John

I see that all things appear in me.

They can't exist without me.

John

It's really so simple.

Life, as it is.

Funny how we make such a big deal out of it!

Gary

Yes, it is so astonishingly simple, natural and easy when we just let go and realize that it is all going along just perfectly as it is.

John

Heh. How funny…

And lovely

This whole process is quite yo-yo like, isn't it?

Gary

It only appears like that as that is all we can see.

Almost all of the "work" is being done "offline", which we can't watch. 

We're like monkeys looking at a cuckoo clock trying to make some sense out of it.

From the brain's perspective, i suspect it looks methodical and orderly.

John

Yeah, good point.

It's all progressing as it should but when we can't see it we get worried or whatever.

That makes sense.

John

So do you think the brain is somehow pre-programmed to seek pleasure?

Gary

 If you check out the blogpost, "Do drugs, sex, competition and meditation all use the same "pleasure" system?", you'll see that the brain is highly engaged in creating pleasure in all sorts of activities, including meditation.

John

Gary, I have something to report.

A shift happened last night.

Now, internally, there is complete and absolute silence.

No chatter, whatsoever.

This is new to me, but I also sense it is what I have been searching and waiting for all along.

Gary

It is indeed what you, and so many others, "have been searching and waiting for all along."

Be fully "with it".

Be watchful for attempts by the ego/I to come in and claim credit for producing it, and/or developing an approach based on what happened before, to produce it again by the same sequence.

It can't do it.

It only happened b/c the ego/I/John wasn't there; it played NO role in producing it, NONE.

Every second in this "complete and absolute silence" is incredibly useful for the brain as it is learning how to reconfigure its patterns to support this.

The brain is likely "cutting and trying" to see what it can do to stabilize this new, highly desirable phenomena.  It likes it even more than 'you" do.

Great stuff.

Continued stillness.

John

Sweeet!

John

Man, Gary. This is the life!

This contentment, this sweetness. It's undeniable.

And yet... even this dies down.

Stillness has no discernible qualities.

But it's essence is the gentlest thing.

No big deal.

Normal... and yet... magnificent.

Deep calm.

John

Absolute, stunning, complete, perfection.

Indescribable.

The absolute is beyond all notions.
Beyond all notions of notions.

Infinite peace.
Gentle, unwavering love.
Solid, fixed calm.
Stillness of stillnesses.

Embracing and including All
It is All. And every concept of All and Nothing.
Pure infinity.  Rest for your soul.