One of the most frequent misunderstandings is that nondual awakening is something that can be intellectually achieved. On my own journey, as pointed out in the video "Upgrading Your Mental Operating System", i used no philosophy, religious literature or teaching other than simply doing Ramana Maharshi's self-inquiry practice and letting go of attachments.
Only after the page turned did i look for, and find, a philosophical perspective, some ancient teaching, that explained and accurately described the state i was living in...advaita Vedanta. It alone was able to put at rest the the highly-trained intellect searching for an understanding with a clear logical framework, subsequently, and increasingly validated by cognitive neuroscience.
Developing an internal sense of "feel" was the most critical skill in navigating the thousands of hours of practice that was basically DIY w/only sporadic contact with two Zen masters.
This internal "feel" for what was working, and what wasn't, and who really "knew", was vital as the process went through many teachers, teachings, disciplines and practices. The practices that manifested and the role that feeling played were:
a) Feeling the difference and extent of individual attachments, like my dog, car, job, kids, house, etc. Bringing them into consciousness and then feeling how strong their presence was and then when they weren't there, feeling their absence, to see just how great that attachment was. Following this by actively engaging them, and then letting go/surrendering them and feeling them fall away. Then when an attempt was made to re-engage them, feeling if anything remained for future "letting go".
b) Feeling the beginning and ending of each breath. Feeling the subtle end of the exhale and what it "went into", feeling that still space, and then sensing the faint beginning of the inhale. Then following the inhale to its end, feeling the still space, and then the beginning of the exhale, and following it down its length...
c) Feeling emotions, sensations, memories, stories and fears. Feeling how sticky, emotionally-charged and powerful they were as they arose in consciousness. Focusing on a particular memory or story and feeling what its energy and structure was, what its "one line summary" was, and what the entity was that had it.
Feeling where in the body-mind these emotions/stories/memories/fears were "held" and manifested. Moving the focus of attention "into" them, opening to them and allowing them to manifest fully. Feeling if there was a "message" there, or a story.
Then using the Sedona Method and Byron Katie approaches (Blogpost "Surrendering the 'I'; letting go of suffering") to focus attention on the "feel" of the letting go/surrendering of them. As the letting go/surrender occurred, feeling if it was connected to other related networks of stories, fears and memories "underneath", and then exploring and releasing them.
d) Feeling how a new modification, practice or sequence "fit" and whether it was adding, or subtracting, from the existing elements. Feeling the changes of a different affirmation, negation, chant, sitting posture, self-inquiry question or a different yoga posture or sequence.
After some time w/a given practice, feeling if it was still "working", or if it had become "flat" and "lifeless". Then if it had become flat, feeling whether it was the ego/I making up some story to get rid of it, or if the practice had done all of the useful work it could do, and a next step or a new approach was needed.
e) Feeling every aspect of chanting. Where it came from, where it went to, the space it occupied and was surrounded by, and what remained after it ended. Feeling the energy change in body-mind during and after the chant.
f) Feeling the energy and stickiness of thoughts. Seeing if they were sticking together, if they were in longer or shorter strings, if the subject frequently changed, or if their number was decreasing. Feeling if they were I/me/my thoughts, and whether they were about the past and future.
Watching carefully where thoughts came from, and where they went to and who thought them up. Feeling their arising so carefully and closely that they actually stopped, almost like a Heisenberg uncertainty event in physics.
g) Feeling if the subject and the object of a bhakti/devotional practice were One or two, nondual or dual. The old Indian saying is "I don't want to become sugar, i want to taste sugar". However, the exact opposite is what is critical for nondual awakening, i.e. the subject and object need to dissolve into, merge with each other.
Could the object of the bhakti/devotion fully enter and displace the "me" that felt it was the body-mind? Was there even a trace of anything resisting this? If so, where/what was it?
Working with different objects, perhaps even "non-religious" ones, like trees, flowers, oceans and mountains, etc. could any distinction from them dissolve? Could any resistance to this dissolution be felt?
h) Feeling for the nature, substance and location of the subject/watcher. Could i "stand" on the objects being perceived and look back at what had been the subject/watcher, and feel into what/where that subject had been, like feeling one's way into a dark cave?
i) Feeling if the "I"s that manifested were the same or different as situations, functions and relationships changed during the day. Feeling the differences in the sensation of the "I"s that manifested ad-hoc. Feeling them as hundreds or thousands of "I"s.
As the many "I"s became dissociated in the "When am I?" practice, feeling them as mere blips on the great ocean of Stillness and Presence. Feeling it so closely and carefully that they disappeared into the Stillness.
Feeling so completely and carefully when an "i" was beginning to manifest that it just didn't manifest.
j) Feeling what changed, and what didn't, in manifestations in consciousness. Feeling how it would be to always be part of what changed, or to be within that which didn't change.
It all comes down to feeling, carefully and with great curiosity, honesty and integrity into each of these practices, always keeping in mind Nobel Laureate Richard Feynman's "The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool."
Only you can know, at the deepest level, exactly what your reality is, what you really feel in these situations. No teaching, no guru, no process can so directly and truthfully show you where you are in this path as can the feeling of what your Truth is.
BTW, i'll be presenting @ the Truth and Transmission (TAT) Foundation Weekend Intensive in southwestern PA on April 11, and at the University of Virginia Darden School of Business in Charlottesville, VA on April 14.
Only after the page turned did i look for, and find, a philosophical perspective, some ancient teaching, that explained and accurately described the state i was living in...advaita Vedanta. It alone was able to put at rest the the highly-trained intellect searching for an understanding with a clear logical framework, subsequently, and increasingly validated by cognitive neuroscience.
 |
| Developing "feel" |
This internal "feel" for what was working, and what wasn't, and who really "knew", was vital as the process went through many teachers, teachings, disciplines and practices. The practices that manifested and the role that feeling played were:
a) Feeling the difference and extent of individual attachments, like my dog, car, job, kids, house, etc. Bringing them into consciousness and then feeling how strong their presence was and then when they weren't there, feeling their absence, to see just how great that attachment was. Following this by actively engaging them, and then letting go/surrendering them and feeling them fall away. Then when an attempt was made to re-engage them, feeling if anything remained for future "letting go".
 |
| Feeling an inhale (exaggerated) |
c) Feeling emotions, sensations, memories, stories and fears. Feeling how sticky, emotionally-charged and powerful they were as they arose in consciousness. Focusing on a particular memory or story and feeling what its energy and structure was, what its "one line summary" was, and what the entity was that had it.
 |
| Feeling sensations |
Then using the Sedona Method and Byron Katie approaches (Blogpost "Surrendering the 'I'; letting go of suffering") to focus attention on the "feel" of the letting go/surrendering of them. As the letting go/surrender occurred, feeling if it was connected to other related networks of stories, fears and memories "underneath", and then exploring and releasing them.
d) Feeling how a new modification, practice or sequence "fit" and whether it was adding, or subtracting, from the existing elements. Feeling the changes of a different affirmation, negation, chant, sitting posture, self-inquiry question or a different yoga posture or sequence.
After some time w/a given practice, feeling if it was still "working", or if it had become "flat" and "lifeless". Then if it had become flat, feeling whether it was the ego/I making up some story to get rid of it, or if the practice had done all of the useful work it could do, and a next step or a new approach was needed.e) Feeling every aspect of chanting. Where it came from, where it went to, the space it occupied and was surrounded by, and what remained after it ended. Feeling the energy change in body-mind during and after the chant.
f) Feeling the energy and stickiness of thoughts. Seeing if they were sticking together, if they were in longer or shorter strings, if the subject frequently changed, or if their number was decreasing. Feeling if they were I/me/my thoughts, and whether they were about the past and future.
 |
| Feel your thoughts |
Watching carefully where thoughts came from, and where they went to and who thought them up. Feeling their arising so carefully and closely that they actually stopped, almost like a Heisenberg uncertainty event in physics.
g) Feeling if the subject and the object of a bhakti/devotional practice were One or two, nondual or dual. The old Indian saying is "I don't want to become sugar, i want to taste sugar". However, the exact opposite is what is critical for nondual awakening, i.e. the subject and object need to dissolve into, merge with each other.
 |
| Are you the ocean? The rock? |
Working with different objects, perhaps even "non-religious" ones, like trees, flowers, oceans and mountains, etc. could any distinction from them dissolve? Could any resistance to this dissolution be felt?
h) Feeling for the nature, substance and location of the subject/watcher. Could i "stand" on the objects being perceived and look back at what had been the subject/watcher, and feel into what/where that subject had been, like feeling one's way into a dark cave?
 |
| An 'i' on the ocean of Consciousness |
As the many "I"s became dissociated in the "When am I?" practice, feeling them as mere blips on the great ocean of Stillness and Presence. Feeling it so closely and carefully that they disappeared into the Stillness.
Feeling so completely and carefully when an "i" was beginning to manifest that it just didn't manifest.
j) Feeling what changed, and what didn't, in manifestations in consciousness. Feeling how it would be to always be part of what changed, or to be within that which didn't change.
It all comes down to feeling, carefully and with great curiosity, honesty and integrity into each of these practices, always keeping in mind Nobel Laureate Richard Feynman's "The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool." Only you can know, at the deepest level, exactly what your reality is, what you really feel in these situations. No teaching, no guru, no process can so directly and truthfully show you where you are in this path as can the feeling of what your Truth is.
BTW, i'll be presenting @ the Truth and Transmission (TAT) Foundation Weekend Intensive in southwestern PA on April 11, and at the University of Virginia Darden School of Business in Charlottesville, VA on April 14.
Excellent summary! Very useful, thanks!
ReplyDeleteHi Some dude. Great that you found it useful. Tks for the feedback.
Deletestillness
Wow! I'm digesting all that you wrote and how you went about unhooking the I to the awakened state. So happy to be reading your blog posts - very helpful. :)
DeleteHi Winter writing extravaganza,
DeleteGreat that you have been finding them useful. "Unhooking the 'I'" can be an excellent way to allow those inspirations, insights, and "just the right word" in your writing to manifest, almost magically, from "offline".
stillness
Great guidance Gary, thank you. I have experienced an event in consciousness which caused me to chuckle at my own past words. As Castenadas Son Juan would say, it was suddenly obvious that all of my own efforts were folly. I can only describe this state which came on as I was prepping for nightly meditation as bliss and the total absence of questions. It only lasted maybe 20 minutes and the mind took over again. I have fallen into the same old folly;pressing to regain the peace and joy I felt over a year ago. Any words from you would be truly appreciated.Mark R
DeleteHi elmarko. The most important thing to remember is to totally forget about your past experience. Our species did not evolve perfect memories of past experiences. On the contrary it generates only most-evolutionarily-useful memories with parts of other memories that might be useful stuck into the current one for a given situation.
DeleteWhen we came down to the watering hole in east Africa 55,000 years or so ago, it was critical that all useful information about vising that watering hole in the past was incorporated into our "memory" for that visit. The memory might include the bumps in the water, or the brown patches in the green grass, or the absence of other animals, etc.
i was in a "faulty memory fMRI study" where we were shown many objects like backpacks, lamps, etc. for about 5 seconds and we then had to make "like a lot, like a little, don't like, really don't like" selections. This went on for about an hour.
The next day, we had to recall those memories in 4 or 5 seconds when the objects were shown again, and decide if we "remembered it exactly and knew specifically what characteristic was important, remembered it, or didn't remember it".
What happened is that even if we remembered the object, there were many in which something wasn't "right" about it. What it was, was that the brain in reconstructing the image, stuck in parts from other memories that would fit.
There are many blogposts on the poor memories we have, like "How neuroscience, psychological studies and our poor memories change the law", as many folk know this phenomena and are now exploiting it to manipulate witnesses.
stillness
So really, there isn't a requirement to go deep into attachments like why you have them, where they come from and when was the first time you had them.
ReplyDeleteAll you have to do is just feel that they're there and then let go, right?
Thanks for the article.
Hi Anonymous.
DeleteYes, that's correct. The analysis on why you have attachments, where they come from and when you first had them, is pointless as a way to get rid of them. you will never come to the end of them, never. The psychoanalysis is endless which is a good thing for psychologists, but not for their patients.
As Ramana Maharshi replied in his "Who Am I?",
"Q. Is it necessary for one who longs for release to inquire into the nature of categories?
RM. Just as one who wants to throw away garbage has no need to analyse it and see what it is, so one who wants to know the Self has no need to count the number of categories or inquire into their characteristics; what he has to do is to reject altogether the categories that hide the Self."
The amazing thing, IME, was that we can just let go of our attachments, if we really want to. Feeling them, and then using the Sedona or Byron Katie approaches, to just let go of them...they fall away like a leaf out of your hand. It is still astonishing to watch it happen. They just go away...the bigger ones may be more complex, and require letting go of more elements as they manifest, but they just go away.
Great that you found the article useful. stillness
Feel the letting go.
DeleteHi Xan M. Yes, just keep feeling as you let go, and go deeper and deeper, and when something is felt that is obstructing further surrender/acceptance, then move into it, feel it, and let go of it...over and over and over.
Deletestillness
Yes! This is my experience. And for the times I fall back into only thinking, I cannot read these simple, fundamental instructions too many times … Thank you Gary.
DeleteHi Catherine. Yes, it is helpful to keep these close at hand and if/when one gets a little lost or confused, to refer back to them to remember that it is all about feeling one's way into what is actually working, where/what problems and attachments there are and how strong they are, etc. Great you have found it useful. stillness
DeleteLove this post. Yes, all about the Feel. I experience it as coagulation vs equanimity. Hope you are well,
ReplyDeleteHi Jeff. Great to hear from you. Also great that you loved the post, esp given your great skill as a writer.
DeleteThe amazing thing about this post, is that, as with everything, it was the Universe/Her who wrote it.
There was nothing happening re "the next post", just nothing manifesting. Then during my early morning spontaneous practice, this post burst out virtually word-for-word. i wrote it down on a piece of paper, typed it, and then it just sat there, not feeling "quite complete". Editing just wouldn't happen. Then an hour before it was to go up, spectacular editing just manifested. Astonishing how She does it all; particularly apparent here.
It would be great to catch up, on skype or in person. Trust all is well with you and your work.
stillness
Gary, this question is regarding this blog post arising during your morning practice. Did you wait until your practice was over to write the thoughts down?
DeleteI noticed you specified the post came during your spontaneous practice. Is this indicating that during your morning sit you wouldn't do so? But during your spontaneous yoga/chant/etc time you honor what comes up? In this case, the blog post is what came up.
Sometimes ideas pop up during my morning sitting, and I can generate some thinking about if I should write it down or not.
As a side note, but still related to discipline during practice, sometimes I start thinking things such as "I just can't do this [sitting meditation] anymore..." While I often sit it out, occasionally I'll just get up and stand for a few minutes before sitting again, or sit in a chair, or even lay down to continue my meditation.
I've been wondering for a while if I'm playing into the ego's game by changing postures as described above. I'm really not sure though.
Hi Anonymous,
DeleteDon't know why this comment came up where it did, but the blogpost "comments" software is so "funky (in a bad way)", it is really problematic to try to move something around. It can end in losing all comments to a post and there is no solution i have been able to find on the boards or from Google to fix it.
On the blogpost arising during morning sitting, the best approach i have found is to keep some paper handy and then write it down as simply and quickly as possible, perhaps just with a few key words. If you don't write it down somehow, the brain just won't let go of it and it will continue during the sitting until you do.
On sitting, make sure you have something that you are sitting on, like a cushion, or pillow, or even a seiza/sitting bench (Google it) that pushes your butt up enough to get a natural curve in your lower back/spine, so your shoulders are over your hips "naturally" without any muscles having to hold them in place.
It is also important to do something with your hands. Get them in some stable positions. If you Google "hand positions for meditation", you'll see many possibilities.
you can also meditate while lying down. The blogpost "Lying-down meditation for nondual, self-inquiry...really???" describes a very powerful approach for this from a good friend, Richard Miller.
you can also meditate while walking around. The blogpost "Nondual, self-inquiry meditation while walking..." describes the powerful approach made popular by Thich Nhat Hanh. i was co-leader of our local Zendo for some time, and we always did walking meditation between sittings. This alternation between sitting and walking is very common in Zen.
Trust this is useful.
stillness
I have a meme of sorts that I often share... "you can't heal what you don't feel" ... I love this post too.
ReplyDeleteHi Monica.
DeleteThat's a great meme, and oh, so true...great that you found the post useful.
Gratitude for all of your support and sharing.
stillness
Thank you Gary. This is the missing piece for me. I have noticed that a check on if I and feeling correctly is that my sense fields - vision, hearing, somatic awareness etc are wider and clearer. Of course once a thought arises it disappears. :-)
ReplyDeleteHi Mike. Great that the post filled in a missing piece. Every time the Universe puts "another brick in the wall", it helps immensely.
DeleteSounds like you are making some great progress as your sense fields are getting wider and clearer and thoughts disappear rapidly as they become an "endangered species".
Just keep on, keepin' on. It's all about persistence. stillness
Hi Gary. Is this a testimony to the power of consciousness then? Feeling things consciously has an impact? I think I remember you saying that most of the work is done offline (unconscious). Can you share a little on those points?
ReplyDeletetks,
Chrisd
Hi Chrisd.
DeleteThat is one of the most amazing things in this work, i.e. that "feeling things consciously has an impact". i was just astonished that just feeling closely, carefully and with great curiosity into major emotions, sensations, stories, attachments, fears and memories would so dramatically change their energy and presence.
The almost immediate and direct response of the brain to learning that "we" really didn't care about something, so it could be just let go of, results in it disappearing, was almost "too good to be true".
It turns out that these stories, memories, fears, etc. aren't written on some stone tablet somewhere to be preserved for posterity. They are there only because the brain believed they had some protective value for the body-mind to prevent something "bad" or "painful" from happening again. As it turns out those old stories, memories and fears are continuously running in some part of the processor affecting "us".
If we look at them, we can see that they are for situations that no longer exist or that will never manifest in the same way again, so they have no real value. They also require a great deal of energy, generate many bad feelings, suffering and anxiety, and well as requiring a lot of neural real estate to maintain.
It is a great gift from the Universe, and a key skill/tool to reduce our suffering.
stillness
Thanks Gary, always like reading your posts. Your efforts in guiding fellow humans to a continuous non-dual state is greatly appreciated.
ReplyDeleteHi Guillaume. Great that you are finding the posts useful. Gratitude for your interest and feedback. stillness
DeleteSynchronicities abound. It was lovely to read this post just now. When our conditioning is intellectual, feelings are simply neglected before the page turns, in favor of more interesting concepts, etc. But after a significant and abiding nondual experience, feelings (and intuitive validation) become the primary guides for action and barometers for reaction. For me, a flurry of "old stuff" arose, and still does from time to time. Much of it had to do with envy and shame. And none of it can stand the crucible of pure awareness. There is no cloth for the Velcro to grab onto -- once exposed, these vestigial memes and judgements simply fall away. The nonlocal identity is seamless, inside to outside. - Thanks, Gary!! -- Andy Hoye
ReplyDeleteHi Andy. Great to hear from you, as always, and great that you found the post useful. It is, as you point out, about using feelings as "primary guides for action and barometers for reaction." stillness
DeleteHi
ReplyDeletefantastic post, thank you
how does one watch / become aware of as to where thoughts originate and end ?
Hi anonymous. Great that you found the post useful.
DeleteRe thoughts, just watch them the way a frog watches for flies, or a cat for a mouse, just be aware of how they behave and what they are like. It is hard initially to see where thoughts come from as they are so "fast and furious".
Focus on a particular thought which isn't too emotionally-charged or "sticky". Just see what happens to it. Follow it carefully until it ends. It doesn't last forever as it is soon replaced by another one, but where does it go?
It is much easier to focus on where the breath goes to, as it is less "sticky" than thoughts are. Just "feel" the breath and then "feel" the exhale as it gets finer and finer towards the end and "feel" what is there when it disappears.
It may take some time to develop this sense of "feel" for when a thought is there and then isn't...try it with emotional memories that you can call into consciousness and then focus on something else...do it several times to get a "feel" for that sensation.
It will become very important, as the post discusses, to develop that intuitive feel as it will guide you Home.
stillness
appreciate your response.
ReplyDeleteWhen you say "try it with emotional memories that you can call into consciousness and then focus on something else...do it several times to get a "feel" for that sensation. " does it mean that I can try recollecting say some childhood memories and once I get a feel of it try so shift attention to some other thought so that old memory disappears and then do this exercise of recollection and replacing with another thought few more times.
Yes. that's correct. If you can get a relatively quiet space, like following the breath and then bring up some old memory and get a feel for it, and then go "back and forth", to the breath, and then back to the old memory,etc., it will show you total sensation contained in that memory.
DeleteIt also works between two different memories, or thoughts, to see the difference. The quieter the "comparison" point is, the clearer it will be to see just what energy is tied up in the problematic memory.
stillness
when I wander onto a thought or set of thoughts I am not aware infact I is lost in that but its only thought. when I comes back to awareness as being aware of ones breadth then I realise I was lost in thoughts and even that realisation is a thought !
Deleteone more doubt I have is,
when I am engrossed into somethings say very interesting programme or a scene on TV then for a few secs I is lost and when I come back to awareness then do not know how those few secs went past.
where as sometimes I consciously watch the breadth and do some work there are no thoughts either the attention is on the work or the breadth.
whats the difference between these 2 states please.
thanks
Hi Anonymous,
DeleteThe difference is the dance between two different neural circuits "blah, blah" and "tasking" which are generally controlled by a third circuit, "control". (the "blah, blah" is typically called the default mode network)
The blogpost "Three Neural Networks Dancing - "blah, blah", tasking and control" http://happinessbeyondthought.blogspot.com/2014/07/three-neural-networks-dancing-blah-blah.html discusses this in detail.
When you get engrossed in something, whether it's the breath, awareness, an interesting programme on TV, etc., the brain moves into the tasking circuit, and away from the "blah, blah" circuit as the control circuit recognizes there is focusing on some task so it makes that shift.
If you lose interest in the programme, breath, awareness, etc. then the brain moves from the tasking network, since you aren't focusing on something any more, back into the "blah, blah" circuit, which is its default setting if you aren't doing anything, to wait for its next task.
What this work is about is changing how and when that default "blah,blah" network operates. If you deconstruct the ego/I, then when the DMN manifests it is just quiet and still, not endlessly chattering.
Trust this is useful.
stillness
Finding it difficult to check where thoughts come from or go. As when thought is there there is no "awareness" in other words, do not realize that I am "in thought" as there is no one to see or check it. When one comes out of thought for a brief "awareness" then another thought comes to replay what was the thinking before... Thought fully takes over the "awareness" so how do one observe thoughts source or ending ... Thank you..
ReplyDeleteHi Anonymous. If you are able to talk about your thoughts, you must be aware of them when they are there. If they "shut down" awareness, you would never know that you had such a thing as thoughts. Just watch what occurs in your consciousness...for most folk they are aware that there are sensations, emotions, breath, thoughts, etc.
DeleteIt is difficult to catch the beginning and/or end of individual thoughts as they are so fast, and for most folk, there are lots of them continually arriving on the scene. That is why we focus first on the breath as a place to learn about this looking where they come from and where they go to.
Just watch your breath, and start with seeing where it goes when the exhale ends. If you watch carefully, then you can catch the beginning of the next breath as the next inhale starts. See if you can see this space between the end of an exhale and the beginning of the next inhale...feel what the exhale feels like when it ends, and what the next inhale feels like when it begins. It is a great place to learn this "feeling" process.
Trust this is useful.
stillness
Hi Gary.
ReplyDeleteThis was just what I needed. Been in the rut for a couple of weeks, and stuck as could be. I've clearly been intelectualizing :)
I read this yesterday, felt my way forward today, and Wham! Got straight through to a quiet, "white", and "pulsating" place (for a lack of better words), where it was really nice to be.
Thank you, friend!
Hi CamaRon.
DeleteGreat that you found it useful. As this post lays out, "feeling" your way is the critical skill one needs to develop to guide your steps along the path to nondual awakening.
stillness
gary
Wow! You've done quite a lot of concentrated unpacking to let go of the ego/I. It feels as if I sometimes go around in circles inquiring into this line of thinking, then deflecting another onslaught that comes from another direction that I can hardly catch my breath. So happy for meditation practices where I can focus on stillness, silence and just the breath and chanting that detects the subtlest thought that pops into consciousness. :)
ReplyDeleteHi Winter writing extravaganza. Great that you are drawing on the breath and chanting approaches. Chanting is surprisingly powerful, even if one doesn't fully understand what is being said, as the resonance of the Sanskrit, since it is the root language of most of the Indo-European languages, works at a deeply phonically-tuned level. This deep resonance w/o full understanding is a strength as folks' brains won't keep running out to try to make "sense" of it. stillness
DeleteLove the concept of feeling your way Home while also remembering the possibility of fooling yourself. Until a couple of years ago, my trust in the feel was not so strong, and I was always very cautious in favor of not fooling myself, e.g. not falling in too quickly with a particular teacher. It has been interesting to experience that a couple of sudden shifts due to meditation brought leaps in my confidence in following the Feel. It was interesting to me because it didn't follow the old ordering principle of having proved I could be trusted, it was more like something in the way of trusting the Feel was simply removed. Now it seems pretty easy most of the time to notice where I need to go next, and the Feel is also allowing me to worry less about fooling myself because I find people I trust for honest feedback. My "I" does show up with fear and self-doubt; your writing and videos are helpful at such times. What was your experience like? Did you have leaps of progress in understanding that the Feel was directing you Home? I am trying now to "feel" my way into getting more direct guidance, but I don't know what guidance I need. I am just drawn to ask questions of many people and listen to the answers, and continue my practice until something else presents itself.
ReplyDeleteHi Marcy. Great work on developing trust in "Feeling" your way forward...it is critical for success in this process. i used it, and still use it, throughout my process and practices (and life). The more that i surrendered to it, the more i had the clear feeling that it was "directing me Home".
DeleteIf you are interested in moving the process forward, as long as there is a "self", a process is necessary to remove it, even if it seemingly uses the "self" to do it. The only way this works is to trick the "self" into participating and initiating the process.
Eventually the ego/I will begin to see the threat in this and will resist strongly, and it will be necessary to keep shifting the approach as it learns, belatedly, how to counter each one. Eventually it gets weakened by each approach and the brain ultimately takes over from the scattered remnants of the ego/I and does the rest "all by itself".
The self-inquiry process, using "Where am I?" etc. accompanied with some approaches to let go of attachments, is what you use.
If you haven't gotten a copy of my book, Happiness Beyond Thought (free download link available), do so, and read it. Then go to the video "NonDual Awakening Meditation - Where am I?" and its four sister "NonDual Awakening Meditation...." videos and do those guided meditations. Also look @ the blogpost "Letting go of your attachments to awaken" and apply those processes to any stories, or attachments you have.
If you look under "Show more" in any of those videos, you'll see links to lots of other resources. After you've started meditating, let me know when you have some questions.
stillness