The seemingly endless, unbelievable happenings that captivate and terrorize us, on a minute-by-minute basis, leads many to despair and wondering if anything can be done about it. Can we "fix the world"? Can we relieve our anxiety, fear, suffering, etc.?
Some approaches...
1. Break your addiction to social media
The blogpost "How the changing brain turns our pleasures into addictions" gave the neuroscience on how social media, porn, sex, gambling, running, etc., turn into addictions from the dopamine "hit" you get for every tweet, like, etc., from your smartphone "drug delivery device".
"I Used to Be a Human Being", details Andrew Sullivan's experience. Sullivan was addicted to social media, and ran blog posts that updated every half hour, seven days a week w/ > 100,000 readers/day. "If the internet killed you, I used to joke, then I would be the first to find out." He was addicted to "a constant dopamine bath".
Andrew found that marketing algorithms keep "you jumping like a witless minnow", with the capability "to tweak their synapses to keep them engaged."
Public display of likes, shares, tweets, etc., creates social status and popularity, which "evolutionary psychologists will attest, is fatal." Forty-six % of Americans told a Pew survey that "They could not live without one (smartphone)", which in less than 10 years "went from unknown to indispensable."
The costs/downsides are that "being" together, becomes "alone" together. Texting replaces conversation..."easier, quicker, less burdensome"...conversation risks "an encounter with another's ...idiosyncrasies, digressions or unexpected emotional needs"... "Emoji now suffice."
After 15 years, his "health began to give out". Addicted, in denial, living an "unreal life", he "quit the web" and did the "ultimate detox"..."to live in reality"...on a meditation retreat.
His breathing slowed, his brain settled..."alone in silence and darkness, yet I felt almost at one with them". Soon "the world of 'the news'...disappeared from my consciousness". Andrew "felt a trace of a freedom all humans used to know".
After the retreat, after "Burning Man", "daily meditation sessions began to falter a little." He began "scanning the click bait from countless sources." Soon "back in my old rut", he cut "daily silences from one hour to 25 minutes and then...to every other day. I knew this was fatal."
Andrew closes with "this new epidemic of distraction is our civilization's specific weakness...The threat is to our souls."
It is useful in working w/addictions to understand that the brain does a pleasure (PL - hi or pl - low) to pain (PN or pn) comparison, over-weighting pleasure 5X pain for evolutionary "fitness". "Pain" includes longing, craving, side effects, etc., where pn > PN and as we all know, "pleasures" saturate w/many repetitions, as PL > pl requiring "enhanced" versions.
When PL/pn > pl/PN, we dislike/quit that activity. In moving to the next activity, keep the previous PN firmly in focus w/its 5X higher weighting.
2. Don't listen to the news on a minute-to-minute basis
i was in a submarine, when there were draft lotteries, before there were student loans, underwater for 3 months at a time, with no news, none. i "missed" assassinations and a lot else, but it didn't matter that i didn't know, immediately, about them.
What happened last Wednesday all over the world? If you don't remember, doesn't that tell you something?
Where does this compulsive "need to know" the latest information come from? Is it fear of appearing to friends, co-workers and frenemies that we're "out of the loop", "disconnected", etc. Feel/see what it's like to say, "No, i didn't see/hear that." What is the reaction?
IME, "world" events are reported incorrectly and vary widely with source. While working in Hungary, a story on "me" was fabricated by USA Today International.
The creation of "fake news", whatever you want it to say, works because of our confirmation bias. Research demonstrates that we search for, interpret, favor, and recall what confirms our preexisting beliefs, giving less/no consideration to alternatives.
One good coping skill in crises are "media fasts" discussed in the video "Getting to 'stillness' in a crisis".
3. Realize that "everyone" lies...it is evolutionarily "beneficial"
The famous "If you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes the truth. If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it." is attributed to many folk, including Joseph Goebbels.
Another broadly-attributed version is "Truth is what you can make the voter believe is the truth. If you're smart enough, truth is what you make the voter think it is."
4. Realize it's out of your control
Our anxiety, distress, depression and anger comes from our misconception that we have "free will", control, and "know" the future. When, as in the recent US presidential election, "everyone was wrong"...we, the pundits, the surveys, the insiders, etc., it is obvious that no one is in control, and has any idea what's going to happen.
The blogpost "The impossibility of 'free will...scientifically and logically" goes through the neuroscience behind "no free will/control", and the playlist "Free will, Control, Predetermination" on my youTube channel has many videos.
The well-known stages of dying of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, which may occur in different order, extend to "if their favorite team loses an important game and also supporters of a losing candidate in an election". Current articles are "Your post election sadness is real grief - here's the best way to move forward", and "Here's how to care for yourself if you're feeling scared or sad right now".
5. Is there anything we can do?
When Ramana Maharshi was asked,
D. There are great men, public workers, who cannot solve the problem of the misery of the world.
M. They are ego-centered; hence their inability. If they remained in the Self, they would be different.
D. Why do enlightened persons not help?
M. How do you know that they do not help? Public speeches, physical activity, and material help are all outweighed by the silence of the enlightened persons. They accomplish more than others.
D. Why did the Self manifest as this miserable world?
M. In order that you might seek it...See yourself first and then see the whole world as the Self.
IMHO, changing the “world” requires a change in our basic operating
system. The blogpost “Uninstall
your outdated OS 1, upload your updated OS 2" and the videos
"Upgrading Your Mental Operating
System" and "Are
'we' just outdated buggy programs" discuss this. we
cannot keep running the same outdated, dysfunctional operating system, and
expect things to ever be different.
BTW, was alerted by Jonathan Marshall that Eckhart Tolle is now using "Happiness Beyond Thought", which is the title of my first book, website, blogpost, etc., as a label in his work. i corresponded with the folk @ EckhartTolleNOW, and the folk @ Sounds True, who handle this aspect of Eckhart's work, and they indicate they will change the title.
Some approaches...
1. Break your addiction to social media
 |
| Andrew Sullivan |
"I Used to Be a Human Being", details Andrew Sullivan's experience. Sullivan was addicted to social media, and ran blog posts that updated every half hour, seven days a week w/ > 100,000 readers/day. "If the internet killed you, I used to joke, then I would be the first to find out." He was addicted to "a constant dopamine bath".
 |
| Witless minnows jumping |
Public display of likes, shares, tweets, etc., creates social status and popularity, which "evolutionary psychologists will attest, is fatal." Forty-six % of Americans told a Pew survey that "They could not live without one (smartphone)", which in less than 10 years "went from unknown to indispensable."
 |
| Eating alone together |
After 15 years, his "health began to give out". Addicted, in denial, living an "unreal life", he "quit the web" and did the "ultimate detox"..."to live in reality"...on a meditation retreat.
His breathing slowed, his brain settled..."alone in silence and darkness, yet I felt almost at one with them". Soon "the world of 'the news'...disappeared from my consciousness". Andrew "felt a trace of a freedom all humans used to know".
After the retreat, after "Burning Man", "daily meditation sessions began to falter a little." He began "scanning the click bait from countless sources." Soon "back in my old rut", he cut "daily silences from one hour to 25 minutes and then...to every other day. I knew this was fatal."Andrew closes with "this new epidemic of distraction is our civilization's specific weakness...The threat is to our souls."
It is useful in working w/addictions to understand that the brain does a pleasure (PL - hi or pl - low) to pain (PN or pn) comparison, over-weighting pleasure 5X pain for evolutionary "fitness". "Pain" includes longing, craving, side effects, etc., where pn > PN and as we all know, "pleasures" saturate w/many repetitions, as PL > pl requiring "enhanced" versions.
When PL/pn > pl/PN, we dislike/quit that activity. In moving to the next activity, keep the previous PN firmly in focus w/its 5X higher weighting.
2. Don't listen to the news on a minute-to-minute basis
 |
| Except we ran into the mountain |
What happened last Wednesday all over the world? If you don't remember, doesn't that tell you something?
Where does this compulsive "need to know" the latest information come from? Is it fear of appearing to friends, co-workers and frenemies that we're "out of the loop", "disconnected", etc. Feel/see what it's like to say, "No, i didn't see/hear that." What is the reaction?
 |
| Hungary and the Danube |
The creation of "fake news", whatever you want it to say, works because of our confirmation bias. Research demonstrates that we search for, interpret, favor, and recall what confirms our preexisting beliefs, giving less/no consideration to alternatives.
One good coping skill in crises are "media fasts" discussed in the video "Getting to 'stillness' in a crisis".
3. Realize that "everyone" lies...it is evolutionarily "beneficial"
Bacteria, yeasts, fish, birds, mammals, and primates, esp. humans lie...relentless Darwinian selection. Research on social and political intelligence, "Machiavellian intelligence", was applied to primates in "Chimpanzee Politics" and "Machiavellian Intelligence: Social Expertise and the Evolution of Intellect in Monkeys, Apes and Human".
Blogposts "Why
does 'everyone' lie, cheat and steal?" and "Lying
- Are 'white lies' OK?...helpful? harmful? necessary? give the
research on lying, often driven by "confirmation bias".
The famous "If you repeat a lie often enough, it becomes the truth. If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it." is attributed to many folk, including Joseph Goebbels.
Another broadly-attributed version is "Truth is what you can make the voter believe is the truth. If you're smart enough, truth is what you make the voter think it is."
4. Realize it's out of your control
Our anxiety, distress, depression and anger comes from our misconception that we have "free will", control, and "know" the future. When, as in the recent US presidential election, "everyone was wrong"...we, the pundits, the surveys, the insiders, etc., it is obvious that no one is in control, and has any idea what's going to happen. The blogpost "The impossibility of 'free will...scientifically and logically" goes through the neuroscience behind "no free will/control", and the playlist "Free will, Control, Predetermination" on my youTube channel has many videos.
The well-known stages of dying of denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, which may occur in different order, extend to "if their favorite team loses an important game and also supporters of a losing candidate in an election". Current articles are "Your post election sadness is real grief - here's the best way to move forward", and "Here's how to care for yourself if you're feeling scared or sad right now".
5. Is there anything we can do?
When Ramana Maharshi was asked,
 |
| Ramana Maharshi |
M. They are ego-centered; hence their inability. If they remained in the Self, they would be different.
D. Why do enlightened persons not help?
M. How do you know that they do not help? Public speeches, physical activity, and material help are all outweighed by the silence of the enlightened persons. They accomplish more than others.
D. Why did the Self manifest as this miserable world?
M. In order that you might seek it...See yourself first and then see the whole world as the Self.
IMHO, changing the “world” requires a change in our basic operating
system. The blogpost “Uninstall
your outdated OS 1, upload your updated OS 2" and the videos
"Upgrading Your Mental Operating
System" and "Are
'we' just outdated buggy programs" discuss this. we
cannot keep running the same outdated, dysfunctional operating system, and
expect things to ever be different. BTW, was alerted by Jonathan Marshall that Eckhart Tolle is now using "Happiness Beyond Thought", which is the title of my first book, website, blogpost, etc., as a label in his work. i corresponded with the folk @ EckhartTolleNOW, and the folk @ Sounds True, who handle this aspect of Eckhart's work, and they indicate they will change the title.
Thanks Gary, I know a lot of scared and unsure people right now - and they keep "looking at the snake", almost transfixed by it. On the other side there is all this self help material telling people they are here to make a dent in the universe and change the world and reach their potential, whatever any of those things actually mean - as if that is actually possible. Its very confusing for many.
ReplyDeleteHi Mike. Given the "buggy" software we're running, including the "confirmation bias" program, the "ego/I" program, the "compassion/reciprocal altruism" program, the "free will" program and some of the hierarchical algorithms deeply embedded in our OS, what you describe is how it's going to be.
DeleteThose all "seemed like a good idea at the time" when they were evolved/installed, and they worked, as we dominate the planet, but now they may prove our undoing. we have learned how to exploit these programs and use them on each other with great skill and effectiveness.
Unless folk turn off/down those communication techniques used for social and mass media, as described in the post, and work towards a new OS, including removal, or at least "right sizing" of the one deeply rooted program, the "ego/I", we're in some very serious difficulty.
This extends well beyond the current US Presidential situation, who wins the World Cup or the "Vince Lombardi Trophy", or what happens with ISIS, but whether we survive as a species. As Buckminster Fuller famously pointed out "We must remember that we are not Mother Nature's only experiment".
stillness
Thanks for the post Gary.
ReplyDeleteAs a clinician, trying to "assist" in the physical and mental well being of folks, it's becoming more frequently part of my questions in trying to get a feel for why they're depressed or anxious is to get a good history on their social media use. Especially for kids too, many of whom are anxious or sleeping poorly, are playing long hours of often very violent video games. It's challenging to encourage the brain to move away from these habits which contribute to suffering.
Also, I was at a conference for seniors mental health, and the whole theme was "personhood". Although good honourable care is important for seniors, perhaps there would be a bit less suffering if there wasn't so much emphasis on the idea of "person" and "individuality". Very rare is it that I can introduce in a clinical setting the idea of investigating the idea of "me" as the source of their suffering.
Kind regards
Guillaume
Hi Guillaume,
DeleteGreat that you found the post useful in your clinical programs, which we have discussed many times. It is important as a "leading edge" endeavor to adapt this work that we do into more clinical settings to relieve folks' suffering.
The addiction to social media is a real one. A recent British study found that the average American spends 5 1/2 hrs/day on "digital media". A study of female students at Baylor University found that they spend 10 hrs/day on their smartphones. The "dopamine" buzz from social media is a real phenomena feeding this; some leading, influential folk i've worked with believe it is our #1 drug problem.
Pioneering efforts like yours in clinical settings will be important if we are going to significantly change how we can interact and communicate with each other in presence and open, non-judgmental, communication.
The very best for your efforts.
stillness
Thanks Gary. I wanted to post on your FB post of this blogpost but didn't see a comment section.
ReplyDeleteThis is timely as I'm coaching/mentoring millenials who have major addictions to their phones. I will be sharing this with them. I have them download the App "RealizD" to track their phone usage which they then upload to Google Docs as a way of realizing how much time they spend on their phones. It's also a way of them being accountable to me as their coach which helps them learn to be accountable to themselves. None of them want this addiction, but the impulses are overwhelming and seemingly insurmountable at first.
I also have them purchase a small cash lockbox. They have to power their phone off at night, lock it in the box and put the key in a drawer. On top of the key is a note to their addictive self written from the perspective of their consciously aware unaddictive self. Some of these notes they wrote were quite revelatory and a significant part of their waking out of the trance state.
Thanks again Gary. Your teaching pointers have been significant in my life and work.
Hi Michael,
Deleteyou've developed and incorporated some really clever training devices that are having some impact on their smartphone "detox", and "waking out of the trance state" in the bargain. i hadn't heard of the RealizD app, but it sounds like it is well designed to provide them with a good support vehicle.
Great that you will be sharing the blogpost, as it does give some perspectives they may not have seen before.
It is really wonderful to see that you're doing this type of work. Much needed. It's all about reducing suffering.
stillness
gary
Hi Michael,
DeleteI hadn't heard of the RealizD app either, but may certainly consider adding it to my toolbox when working with people. Thanks for the tip.
Guillaume
I have used the "Moment" app as a phone tracker with great success. It gives you reminders every 15 minutes of usage, can give daily break downs of time spent/apps used, and they also have a "phone boot camp" which helps you see and break the cycle of phone addiction. Really helpful.
Delete-hunter
Thanks for the post Gary. There is a myth perpetuated by Vedanta and other schools from the East that Awakening is a single step and one need not do anything after that initial experience. As I progressed in that path, I realized that true happiness comes from simplifying your life and the first step in that regard was stop looking at my social media accounts all the time.
ReplyDeleteHi Vivek.
DeleteYes, the "single step and it's over" school, along with the "no practice is necessary" school have been widely discredited by the overwhelming neuroscience on neuroplasticity demonstrating just the opposite. However, the messages are ones that folk want to believe, so there are still "teachers" selling it to them.
you might enjoy the blogpost "The Eight Myths of Nonduality" @ http://happinessbeyondthought.blogspot.com/2015/11/the-eight-myths-of-nonduality.html and the video "Myths About Nonduality and Science" @ https://youtu.be/ztKJ6BPIe0k as it addresses other myths.
Best with your practices and w/letting go of social media.
stillness
gary
Hi Gary,
ReplyDeleteJust thought you might find this new study interesting, when discussing this topic of addictions to social media. The study seems well designed with over 1700+ participants.
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0747563216307543
The science around the links between social media and mental health is becoming quite solid.
Kind regards,
Guillaume
Hi Guillaume,
DeleteYes, that is a really fascinating study, the first i've seen in a major journal like Science by researchers at a top-tier institution with such strong statistical correlations and such a large participant pool.
The unique focus of this study "Use of multiple social media platforms and symptoms of depression and anxiety: A nationally-representative study among U.S. young adults" on just how much worse it is to use many, 7 to 11, social media platforms rather than just 0 - 2 platforms as far as increased depression and anxiety is a compelling one.
An important first step at reducing anxiety and depression is now convincingly demonstrated to be cutting down on how many platforms are being used.
Thanks for the insightful and useful share.
stillness
gary
Gary, why is happiness beyond thought label not shared with Elkhart?
ReplyDeleteHi Talat,
DeleteThat is a great, and as it turns out, “complicated” question.
When I went to the Eckart Tolle site and listened to the video, it was what i would have said, given in Eckhart’s inimitable, highly effective way. my inclination was to just let it go and accept it as an important endorsement of what the term has meant for 15 years - that the problematic internal narrative can be stopped and real happiness will ensue.
Also, as i mentioned in a letter to Eckhart through his organization, we both have common roots in Ramana Maharshi’s teaching. When he was walking up to speak in the “big chair” at an Inner Directions gathering in La Jolla years ago, he stopped and bowed to Ramana’s picture on the podium.
However, since i see things differently, i asked folk i work with who run Tolle “boards”, Tolle discussion groups, etc., what their opinions were. It was strongly negative, with disbelief followed by anger and a comment that “yes, he’s done that before with (*****)”.
i told the Tolle folk, and Sounds True who works with them, that this isn’t about “financial damages”, which are meaningless since my work is free. It is about two things, a) confusion and b) damage to Eckhart’s reputation.
Confusion is obvious. “Happiness Beyond Thought” means something to folk, since all of this work bears that label. Although i didn’t “do” any of it, nor did “Eckhart” of his work, it is unlikely that Eckhart’s work will be the same, so soon the term loses value and meaning, like “nonduality” and “persistent” have.
As far as Eckhart’s reputation, when folk perceive him using somebody else’s material without identifying them, he implicitly claims it as his creation, so his credibility suffers. Why not identify contemporary sources to alleviate that concern, or just not use the term? Another well-known teacher has a similar problem and has been called out on it in public, and serious folk have moved on.
Having someone of Eckhart’s stature who has been so important to so many, who is also focused on making a dramatic change in “the world”, lose credibility is not a “good thing”. However, it is what it is and however it plays out will be “perfect”.
stillness
An extremely refreshing way of handling such a situation. Exemplary.
DeleteHi Anonymous. Great that you found it so useful. stillness
DeleteHi, I hope I dont sound cynical but forgive me. Isnt this social media thing predestined and beyond control as well as the cure for its ill. Its all caught up in a constant loop of life. Being aware. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteHi sbs913. Yes, as Albert Einstein said "Everything is determined, the beginning as well as the end by forces over which we have no control. It is determined for the insect as well as for the star. Human beings, vegetables or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune intoned in the distance by an invisible piper.
DeleteHowever, Einstein didn't just sit in a corner...he revolutionized our understanding of the Universe. we are all part of that Dance and our different roles will all be danced out, out of our control. This includes social media, the jihadists, a nuclear war, the replacement of our species by Artificial Intelligence, whether our species can change its outdated software which is at the root of much of this, etc.
The blogpost "Can we survive w/our current OS and buggy programs?" discusses this last piece.
stillness
gary